Reacting

Surges of fury
Find their way to my thoughts
Breaking levys built strong, secure
Intended to hold back quilt, shame, remorse
I'm angry

Back Home. Relief.

After six days in Scottsdale, AZ on business/pleasure, it is wonderful to be back home. More later after some sleep.

Thought: I never see failure as failure but as a learning experience.

A Hiking We Will Go

Off today for another day in nature with Ms Theo. Our destination today is Pilot Mountan. Care to join us?

Blackberry Test

I am testing this post... Written from a Blackberry. How cool is that?

To Smile

Today, a dragonfly flew in front of my face
It hovered there, luminescent blue
From inside, a smile rose
I laughed.

-Theo

We Say It Easy

We say it easy. "Every day is a new day, a new beginning."

When the mornings bring predetermined pain and familiar concerns, when they are marred with remembrances of misplaced desire and laced with guilt and shame, how new can each day truly be?

It is not that I am complaining today, or that I am depressed, downtrodden or melancholy. It is just a reality that my day today begins with work. My body speaks in pain. My relationship with my wife is changing and is uncomfortable for me. My feelings of unworthiness and guilt are clear, crystal clear.

This early morning beginning collides with those words, albeit truthful words, that are far too easily spoken of new beginnings and sunrises. We say it easy. Today, I live it hard.

"Every day is a new day, a new beginning."

Something Pulls

Something pulls downward at me this week. Starting yesterday, I've felt drained, tired. It takes extra effort to engage others, to be positive, to move forward through the day. Why? I've slept enough. I've eaten well. I've been a little lax on the exercise front, but not enough to really make a difference. What are you, this feeling of depression and numbness.

I could slip into the depths, embrace this dusk of being. I could yield to its laden caress and fall.

What do I need to know from you? What feelings have I hidden and refused to endure? What, I wonder, lies beneath this new found specter of ...

Time for some reflection.