THE FILLING

ever left, turn right
through light's mangled night
straight ahead, back again
my pain filled longing

within my soul's maze
i wander endlessly dazed
lost and alone
helpless to atone

when will you free me
when can i be
rested and peaceful
freed from disease

when will my eyes dry
finish their crying
when will this longing
cease wanting for dieing

time swirls in a chaos
demanding my loss
tearing the shear fabric
so wonderfully tragic

i grasp with each breath
i scream as a wraith
arms taunt in despair
"please, freedom draw near."

broken, empty i fall
with one last gasp i call
"take me. you've won
no more i'm undone...undone.'

a mere shell i remain
empty of all, even pain
broken shards of the potter's
failed craft, shattered shards

then the filling begins
a dance from within
swirling dervish rising
bright eyes radiant shining

clarity comes waltzing
beauty's voice again singing
hope settles within me
like a gift i stand free

what powerful happenings
that waits for my falling
to kindly bequeath life
again

-theo

Inspired

While reading today over at Unguarded Utterance, I was reminded of...

Those thoughts, those ideas that I regularly had while in an altered state, the thoughts that mixed such wisdom and needs to produce profundity, and yet in the light of the next morn seemed trite and empty.

Such is the way of malformed ideas when put to the test of reason and beauty, in whose mix of detail and chaos is something worth consuming, with a twist of lemon!

Cheers!

a dream

soft clouds of unknowing
drifting awareness of twilight
moments of passion
pain
finds us and leads me home
again

-Theo

Life and Depth

Sometimes I just don't get it. Why does the intersecton of my feelings and the reality of my life leave me feeling so damn incomplete, today?

Time for some spiritual work.

Remembering

I'm posting here a poem I wrote 9-12-2001. May the love that life intends prevail for ALL people...

Eagles Weep

Eagles weep the dust of fury
Glory hangs in a breeze filled sky
Trumpets howl forth silence
Sightless eyes gaze on dust and bone

Paradox rains upon sweltering souls
Discordant melodies find no harmonic tone
Dreams of romantic horror in daylight come
Sleeping giants slumber on

Restrained talons long to tear
Flesh and bone.
Retribution wails
Bridled shouts from viper lips
Broken tongues speechless, still

This chaos, grief born questions
Here lies the doubt, fear, taking root
Anger and pain beget rage
Tearing the shroud, death.

Then, blasting through heart's cage
Cries, screams and eternal rage
Why! Demands our soul
Why?
Defiant voices entreat

Into this realm of despair
Touching sinew of exposed care
Lifting corpse-like remains
Our Hope stands, lifted hands

In a speechless voice the whisper comes
Gentle words rock our perilous stance
Words carefully spoken, deeply heard
Faith, Hope, Love the specter calls

Glorious birds might find their songs
Heavy banners be lifted by the gentlest of breeze
The clarion call of brass resound, proclaim
Life has come and will remain

September 12, 2001
-Theo

What Does This Mean To You?

Sometimes the light shines so brilliantly that it hurts, but oh the pleasure of it!!

NOTE: I came upon this thought inside my head recently in the most random of moments. I pondered what it might mean, and now I ask you, "What do the words above mean to you?"

Wonderful Day

Today I slept late, have the house to myself, have spent three hours writing on my novel, and am now eating left-over spaghetti. Later, I'll take a bike ride and meet my wife for dinner then join a gathering to watch FSU play Miami.

These are the days for which I work.