Lost Friends

"I miss you. You know? Once, in the chaos of our lives, we touched, shared that recently discovered, ingrained, abiding truth about us - our limitations, our self-deception, our obsession and compulsions, our basic need to keep it simple and fanatically real - and we knew, precisely, intimately, beyond all else that we are alike. There was joy, intensity. Yet, from the first brush of living, a sadness demanded at least a muffled echo of caution. We knew, truly knew, that should either of us return to the old ways - the ever tempting, incessantly pestering old destructive ways - then the miracle of our common being would be lost, likely- no certainly- to risk death.

I stand here, just for today, poised on the shores of that chaotic sea, hearing the siren's beckoning, yet, for this moment remaining on shore in hope, in belief that you, and if not you, others, may join me here."

NOTE: One of the tragic realities of recovering from addiction (of all types) is relapse. I have been attending more meetings of late, and am struck by the number of people who are no longer there, or who are returning from relapse. I wrote the words above last year. I am reminded of them today.