Self Care and Self Sacrifice?

interestingly enough, i was kind to myself today. simply, today was better.

i found that my interactions with others were less about my need for approval and more about helping others. today i felt useful, attentive, and available to others. strange that this all became possible with my focus on being kind to me.

there was a time in my life when i equated self care with selfishness. i acted on the belief that to give others what they wanted and to act as others desired was to be caring and spiritual. i mistakenly took my need for approval seeking behavior as some sort of spiritual principal, some kind of higher action of selflessness.

i can, and do sometimes lapse into this way of being. i have also discovered that, just for me, self care is a much purer mode of selflessness. as strange as it sounds, i now know that it is only from the place of self care and balance that i can choose to give that up for the good of another. we can only give away what ewe have.

another wandering through my mind done.