Life's Stage

pull the string, watch the dolls dance
blood runs from my finger tips
maybe this time it will change
calm my fears or ease my pain

see my marionettes take your stage
watch your laughter, feel your rage
safely sitting program in hand
three cheers for the puppet man

pull the string, watch the dolls dance
blood runs from my finger tips
maybe this time it will change
calm my fears, ease my pain

i see your faces, swoons and frowns
watching fixed, puppet take puppet down
they are not real, your thoughts remind
while i silently die here behind

pull the string, watch the dolls dance
blood runs from my finger tips
maybe this time it will change
calm my fears, ease my pain

with human hate they dance for you
showing the worst the we can do
superb, delight, encore' your shouts
so once more the toys come out

pull the string, watch the dolls dance
blood runs from my finger tips
maybe this time it will change
calm my fears, ease my pain

the lights are gone, empty isles now
i fall broken wondering how
these hands will heal, gather strength again
so, you can live through my gift, friend

pull the string, watch the dolls dance
blood runs from my finger tips
maybe this time it will change
calm my fears, ease my pain

see my marionettes take your stage
watch your laughter, feel your rage
safely sitting program in hand
three cheers for the puppet man

-Theo

Notes: Much of my life I have pleased others. The roll I chose in my childhood was to be the entertaining, helpful child. Being the youngest of three in a dysfunctional family (is that redundant?), I developed quite the skill of performing for the approval of others. This behavior followed me into adulthood, and soon became unhealthy. When situations demanded me to sacrifice my own well being to appease others, I would often yield. The result was self-inflicted destruction. I simply did not care for myself emotionally, sometimes to the point of not even knowing what I truly wanted or needed. I performed. The poem above came from the awareness of this struggle.