Self Exploration

The way is familiar enough, out the door of a momentary failure - a simple mistake, or the gaping hole created by willful wrong - and I'm on the path. I meander along backward, passing any number of re-membered piles of oozing lessons of my own darkness and creation. I can stop anywhere here, be it to ache as I cozy up to yesterday's wrong turn, or further down, perhaps I can settle into a reunion with my more youthful meanderings through dishonesty and self abuse. Not today. I have another destination.

Beyond the frequently known, seething moments of discord and despair that so willingly surge forward with any brief taste of guilt, shame and remorse, I trudge on. I am off today beyond these proverbial creatures of my past. I march to the very precipice of my being, and look out into the abyss of the unknown. There lies my way. There on a pencil thin ledge winding down into the obscurity of, of, of what I do not know...

I descend. If you are of courageous heart and tolerant spirit, wait. I may return.

NOTES: This week of travel and Conference, have exposed me to some timely truths that require my consideration. In my adulthood, there seem to remain some remnants of severe immaturity (I am not speaking of child-like playfulness, for I hope never to lose that, but childishness) that must be addressed. The words above strike out from the emotions and fears I feel as I begin the journey to address those tenacious remnants.